The key to truly understanding people is empathic listening, which is listening with the intent to see their perspective. Empathetic listening is necessary to work on habit 5: seek first to understand, then to be understood. We discussed in Habit 4 that an essential step in reaching a Win/Win solution is to try to understand the other person’s perspective and concerns. This is what covey’s habit 5: seek first to understand, then to be understood means. Techniques provide the skills, but you also need the genuine desire to understand other people, work together, and develop Win/Win solutions in order to have productive relationship in which you can work with and influence another person, you must first understand them. The listening techniques we do learn tend to fall in the Personality Ethic, without setting up the paradigms for the necessary character-based foundation that allow us to seek to understand before being understood. Despite all the training and education we get to learn how to speak, read, and write well, we receive very little instruction on effective listening.
There are four forms of communication: speaking, listening, reading, and writing. When truly effective interdependent people communicate, they first try to understand the other person’s perspective before expressing their own. On a larger scale, this principle holds true in many professions. Those actions, in turn, can help you effectively influence other people, which can influence situations that impact you, which expands your Circle of Influence.Ĭommunication is a critical aspect of productive interpersonal relationships. Habit 5: seek first to understand, then to be understood focuses on acting within your Circle of Influence - understanding the other person and expressing yourself. Generally, many aspects of interdependent situations are out of your control and in your Circle of Concern, including certain problems, circumstances, and other people’s actions. What is Habit 5: Seek First to Understand, Then to be Understood? Only by working on covey’s habit 5: seek first to understand, then to be understood can you determine the kind of mutually beneficial solution that a Win/Win paradigm strives to achieve. The idea is this: first work on understanding the other person’s perspective, then help them to understand your perspective.
Habit 5: seek first to understand, then to be understood tackles how to have an effective interaction with someone. Like this article? Sign up for a free trial here.
Shortform has the world's best summaries of books you should be reading. This article is an excerpt from the Shortform summary of "The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People" by Stephen Covey.
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